Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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