He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize