Sry I called you an 8
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
