That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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