He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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