She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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