I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
