Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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