He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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