I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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