Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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