dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
