I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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