You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
