no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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