i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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