I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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