he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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