I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
