I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
