I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
