wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
