it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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