They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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