Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
