I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
