I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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