you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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