Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
