did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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