I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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