My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There's even glitter on my cock...
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