she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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