lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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