I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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