So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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