So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize