her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
