she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
