And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
