Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
