Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
