im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
