I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
