I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
