when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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