I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
