please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
