I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
