u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
