I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
