Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
