If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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