his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So vagazzling was a success
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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