so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
