Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
