Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
