There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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