The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
