google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
