Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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