So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
