She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
