I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
